Be Happy

So, I was going to talk about the prodigal son, but I'm presently talking to a lovely new friend and have no desire to write about something depressing!

This is something I learned years ago, but occasionally forget. Every time though someone reminds me of it, either by being so disagreeable that I have to remind myself or by being so great that I can't help but think of them and it at the same time. Also, a book I read recently really emphasized it for me and gave me a new perspective on it.

You ever hear the secret to happiness is just being happy? Oddly enough, it is true! Well, kinda...mostly...pretty much. Most have spent so much of their life trying to be happy without realizing everything we need for it is right by us. Or in us. Or something like that. We've been born with certain gifts that allow us to find happiness no matter where we are. Well the book I read described it as the sin of five senses. I originally thought of it as simply choosing to enjoy enjoyment. I'm not sure what title to give it, but I feel it is the ability to be happy by choosing to, because no matter how dark a day is we can still enjoy the experience it gave us.

First, the sin of five senses. No, it is not actually a sin, but how often are we told not to feel? Stop and smell the roses is cliche, but it is true. Spending time to enjoy the fact that we can feel is one of the best ways to spend any day. Actually see something. Taste something new. Lay down on the ground and feel the way your bare arms brush the roughness of the carpet and the way your bones try to sink into it. One of the happiest days of my life was spent walking down Broadway feeling the wearied walls of whimsical wonders and sensing their stories, hearing the stories of dancers who had all their hopes on only their skill and luck, seeing them perform in the streets and stop traffic, smelling their sweat mix with the grim of a big city, and tasting the mixture of street food with smog and tainted light. Rarely have I been so thoroughly satisfied. I could have chosen to be angry. A bunch of gypsies jumped me and stopped me from getting someplace. I was forced against a wall. They refused to let me go and forced me to participate in their heathen ritual. They even held up traffic and caused a scene. I was overwhelmed. Had I chosen to see it as others on the street saw it, my day would have been ruined. We've got five senses, why do we ever not use all of them at every time we can. In many ways I believe sushi and sex are the singular greatest things this life has to offer. I love sushi! I probably will love sex! When I eat sushi I eat some ginger first. I like the flavor and texture and it smells great. When I plop a spicy tuna roll into my mouth I first let it sit. No chewing. I just run my tongue along all it's surfaces. The firmness of the tuna. The rigidity of the rice. The bumpy, sliminess of the seaweed. I don't chew my first roll of sushi, I slowly break it apart with my tongue enjoying the individual textures and tastes. The next roll is enjoyed in one delicious bite, combining the glories of each part. Sushi satisfies my sense of smell, taste, touch, and sight. The people I eat sushi with and being in a sushi bar satisfy my need to hear. Sex is very similar, just more intense. The physical intimacy of private touches. The smell of your partner's sweat. The sweet taste of their lips combining with their bitter sweat creating a flavor unique to each partner. Hearing them moan, simply talking to them, the creak of the bed, the laughter at being so happy, and hearing silence afterwards. Seeing them lay there in front of/next to you, bare emotions and body, with nothing but desire. If only their was a way to combine them...Sushi and sex that is.

Just a point of personal note. I feel sight is overused and thus the sense that provides me the least pleasure. At times there is someone so beautiful it makes up for the darkness of artificial light or a place so inspiring you stop using your eyes to see at all. My favorite sense is touch. Any touch anywhere. It is a treasure. My next favorite is smell, because they are so broad and they tell a story. I remember a night I was Sufi dancing I was partnered with a man I thought smelled. It bothered me for a moment, until I realized I had never smelled something like him. It was thick and based in sweat, but also had a hint of spices and hard-work. I began to relish every time I passed him in the circle.

We each have a choice. We always do. Choosing to not be angry or sad is good. Choosing to be happy is great. Granted, it is hard, sometimes life is hard and days don't go right, but it is simply a choice. If it's nature, my Jewish guilt bears harshly down on me for each moment I spend not smiling, because I may have ruined someone's day by scowling at them accidentally. If it is nurture, my LDS upbringing harms me each time I forsake another's emotions in favor of stewing in my own. Either way, I'm screwed whenever I don't try to better someone else's day. I'm okay with it, it makes me be a better person most of the time. So choosing to be happy is just dandy, but what about choosing to enjoy enjoyment? Emotions are great because they let us feel something. When you chose not to feel anything for years, they matter a lot to you, even more than your physical senses. Choosing to enjoy the little things around us. The sunrise and the warmth it spreads over us. The cool shivers we receive while star gazing. The smell of wet grass. We cannot enjoy life until we choose to enjoy the enjoyments we pass by every day. Little things pick us up. Little things keep us sane. Once we ignore the tender mercies granted us each morning the rest of the day goes down hill. My favorite thing of each morning is jumping out of bed, stripping down, going to the shower, and feeling the hot and cold of the shower (not by choice...the showers refuse to stay a consistent temperature...) run over my body creating red streaks and cold shivers while I wash. I get to wake up, get naked, and touch myself without any remorse. I look at myself in the mirror, dripping wet and only in a towel, and see who others will be meeting that day. It's fantastic. I get to enjoy the body I have and genuinely smile each morning.